Bisnis baru berjalan 2 minggu lebih, tapi banyak banget pelajaran yg diambil, banyak ditolaknya juga, yah mungkin mereka masih keenakan dizona nyaman mereka masing-masing. Masih nyaman dengan pemberian orang tua mereka masing-masing. Mereka belum mikir gimana caranya bisa mandiri financial, nggak nggantungin orang tua terus, bahkan mereka belum mikir gimana caranya bahagiain orang tua mereka selama orang tua mereka masih dalam keadaan sehat. 

Bahkan ada yg menolak dengan alasan takut nggak bisa berhasil dibisnis ini takut karena merasa nggak mampu melakukan bisnis ini. Aneh bukan, bahkan sebelum mereka mencoba dan melihat kehendak Tuhan seperti apa, mereka sudah mengklaim diri mereka nggak bisa melakukannya. Itulah ciri-ciri orang-orang yang kemungkinan nggak bisa jadi orang besar nantinya.

yes,I am

The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

The regrets

Aku minta maaf ...

Maaf buat rasa sakitnya yg sudah tak perbuat ke kamu, maaf suda merusak kepercayaanmu sama aku. Aku tau, aku bener-bener brengsek sudah nyakitin kamu, nyakitin kamu yg jelas-jelas tak sayang dari kelas 1 sma, nyakitin kamu yg paling ada kalau aku lagi butuh, nyakitin kamu yg mau nerima aku lagi, baik sama aku lagi, tetep sayang sama aku, walaupun aku sering kali nyakitin kamu. 

Maaf ...

Bahkan aku ngerasa nggak pantes lagi minta maaf sama kamu, terlalu sering aku minta maaf tapi tetep aja aku buat kesalahan lagi. Aku sadar aku ini brengsek sekali. Aku tau aku selama ini munafik, egois, tapi kali ini aku bener-bener menyesal, aku baru sadar aku lebih butuh kamu, seharusnya kamu yg lebih tak sayang.

Aku sayang sekali sama kamu, aku tahu terdengar aneh, kenapa aku nyakitin kamu kalau aku sayang sama kamu. Aku juga nggak tahu kenapa seperti itu. Tapi aku nggak bohong, aku beneran sayang sama kamu. 

Aku pengen berubah, aku pengen bener-bener jadi sahabatmu kayak dulu, like we used to be. Aku pengen semuanya kembali seperti seharusnya. 

I know you may not trust me again, but I'll do anything, try anything to make you sure that I really regret for hurting you all this time, and I want change. 

I almost do

I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

Oh we made quite a mess, babe
It's probably better off this way
And I confess, baby
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I want to try again with you
And I almost do

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me

Seneng rasanya, ada penyeimbang

Is anybody out there

I won't let anyone hurt you
And I'll stop them if they try to
Nobody knows you like I do, ba-by
And I don't care where you run to
Because I'm gonna find you

When the stars all align
We can try again

Is anybody out there?
Can anybody see?
Seems like everything's gone crazy
You're exactly what I wanted
And exactly what I need
Don't need anybody but my ba-by

So where did all your love go
You play me like a solo
Then you threw my broken heart away, yeah

I know that we can make it
And I know that you can feel me
So stop fooling around and just stay

Is anybody out there?
Can anybody see?
Seems like everything's gone crazy
You're exactly what I wanted
Exactly what I need
I don't need anybody but my ba-by

It's taken such a long time
To find what I've been looking for
And now that you are all mine
I never felt quite like this before
Still want more
All you need in my mind
Because if so, then you already know
You're all that I want and you're all that I needed

Is anybody out there?
Can anybody see?
Seems like everything's gone crazy
You're exactly what I wanted
And exactly what I need
Don't need anybody but my baby

Well, that was hurt

Ha ha

"Jangan terlalu fokus akan satu hal, tanpa kita sadari kita telah kehilangan banyak hal di sekeliling kita."

Semangat

For the first time, aku ikut bisnis, bisnis mlm lagi, yang kata orang banyak ngerugiinnya. Well, kalau belum dicoba apa salahnya bukan? So far sejauh ini menyenangkan.  Padahal nggak diijinin orang tua, tetep aja aku nekat. Aku pengen ngebuktiin ke mereka kalau aku bisa menghasilkan uang, dan lagian aku nggak aneh aneh, nggak ngelanggar hukum juga kan, dan yang pasti aku ikut bisnis ini supaya bisa bantuin orang tua.

Doakan sukses. Ganbatte!!

"Yang dikasih perhatian siapa, yang akhirnya merhatiin siapa"

Oh like hell, I miss you. Don't you even notice that?

"Yes, I've Changed. Pain Does That To People"

What I've done

"You said that you love her so much, so why did you do that?"

"Kenapa aku tega jahat banget sama sahabatku sendiri yang paling tak sayang?"

"kenapa aku bisa sejahat itu?"

Pertanyaan pertanyaan itu yang sudah hampir 2 bulan ada dipikiranku, aku juga nggak hanis pikir kenapa aku bisa seperti itu, dan parahnya lagi aku melakukannya secara SADAR, sadar akan siapa yang bakal tak sakiti, sadar kalau aku melukai sahabatku sendiri,"BUT WHY STILL I DID THAT?" For God shake, I don't know the answer, it's like beyond my control.

Kenapa orang yang 2 tahun sama aku lebih tak bela dari pada orang yang sudah 4 tahun sama aku. Kenapa aku nggak bisa adil, bahkan sikapku selama ini mendekati adil pun nggak.

I'm so sorry...
Bahkan kata maaf pun nggak akan bisa mewakili sedikitpun. Aku nyesel banget, dan ngerasa bersalah. Apalagi dia masih baik banget sama aku, kayak waktu aku ultah masih mau ngasih surprise, padahal kalo orang lain dijahatin normalnya nggak bakalan direken, BUT SHE WAS THERE! Terus dia masih mau smsan sama aku, masih mau marahin pas waktu aku sakit. I feels like I'm lucky to have her.

Sekarang aku pengen memperbaiki hubunganku walaupun nggak mungkin kayak dulu lagi, but I'll do anything to make it better, I'll try to fix it with the best I can do, and thank God she still give me the chance.
Yah walaupun aku masih sedikit di cuekin, dan dia masih nggak mau jalan atau nonton sama aku (padahal aku kangen sekali nonton sama anak itu, bayangkan terakhir nonton waktu intensive ssc -___-) but I know, I deserve it. Semoga kedepan keadaannya membaik, supaya bisa jalan kayak dulu lagi, amin.

Once again, I'm so sorry, and thank you for still there even if you have every reason to leave.
Love you so much.

For :   

- V -

Indahnya dimarahin

 "You don't have to worry if someone you love feels angry with you or arguing with you, worry if they stop to do that."

It means, if they keep on angry or arguing with you for something you did, it proving that they still care about you, even if you just did something terrible to them.
Like this one :

Ohana

Ohana, sebuah sebutan buat 3 orang terdekatku di sma. Berkat mereka, sekolah bukanlah suatu hal yg membosankan yg hanya berhubungan sengan pelajaran, bahkan sejujurnya aku lebih bersemangat masuk sekolah karena ada mereka alasannya. Mereka itu tau aku luar dalam, bahkan tanpa aku cerita sekali pun. They're my best wishes, nggak tau deh sma kayak apa rasanya tanpa mereka. Ohana artinya keluarga, karena mereka sama berartinya seperti keluargaku sendiri.
Thanks for Rita ardianti, Vania ardelia, Siti hadijah. Love you so much.

My ohana 

Baru bikin

Baru kepikiran buat blog setelah liat blognya mbah, liat banyak kejadian atau apa ajalah yg ditulis jadi keinget lagi jaman dulu, jadi sedikit menyesal kenapa baru sekarang buat blog, hmmm